"What I dream of is an art of balance, of purity and serenity devoid of troubling or depressing subject matter - a soothing, calming influence on the mind, rather like a good armchair which provides relaxation from physical fatigue."
Prescription: Laughter "They" say that laughter is the best medicine. And whoever "they" are, I'd have to agree. In fact, studies have shown that when we laugh we... * lower our blood pressure. * promote relaxation and reduce stress. * increase the oxygen level in our ... Self Hypnosis: A Path to Health, Wealth and Self-fulfilment As a professional hypnotherapist with a strong interest in personal development it always amazes me when I suggest self-hypnosis techniques to a client and they respond with "what, you mean I could hypnotise myself?" There is a truism in hypnosis ... Tips for Losing the Most Stubborn Pounds Here are several tips that will help you shed that unwanted weight and create a more healthy and attractive figure. Increase Protein When you diet, keep your protein at 55% of your calories. This will help you maintain your muscle mass and keep your ...
A friend of mine was left by his girlfriend recently. He's in shock and in pain. He's also studying Buddhist philosophy; and he asked me the following question: Am I supposed to love her even after she did this to me? Isn't that what this Buddhist stuff is telling me to do? The short answer is yes; but it's more complicated than that. Because in order to love unconditionally-the thing that is called for here-one needs to undergo a shift in perception, and come to a new understanding about what love is, and what it can be.
Romantic love, the love of steamy novels and Valentine cards, is about having your needs-or at least your desires and fantasies-met by someone else. It is conditional, and suffers, from a Buddhist perspective, from what you would call attachment. I'm seeing this played out right now by my son's thirteen-year-old friends, as they fall in and out of love with each other, depending on whether one is doing what the other wants at a given moment. They are, after all, merely acting out what surrounds them, in movies, in the news, in their parents lives, in the life of the culture.
It's easy to love someone when they're doing what you want them to do. And it's easy to love someone who is like you, who lives and acts in your comfort zone. But what happens when your partner or your friend or your parent does something that makes you uncomfortable, that you really don't like? If you're being honest, I think it would be fair to say that a part of you falls out of love, at least for a while. And in the midst of deep betrayal, all bets are off. Sometimes you find your way back to what feels like love, and sometimes you don't.
So what kind of love endures these storms of life? I call it radical love. Radical means two things: On the one hand it means "on the fringe" or "extreme", and it also means "coming from the root" or "fundamental, innate and essential." Unconditional love is all of these things. I believe it is where we come from; it's who we are deep down. Our task is to find our way back to it through the turmoil of the culture that dominates our lives today.
Should we allow ourselves to be abused? No. Should we create healthy boundaries and maintain them? Absolutely! This is part of healthy loving. But we can also look for what is fundamental to ourselves and others, in those times when we might abandon love and see only separateness and conflict. In the midst of pain and disillusionment, we can also see what binds us-what we're all a part of-regardless of what one or another of us might say or do.
This position bears out the other half of the definition: Unconditional love is way out of the norm in our society, obsessed as we are by the differences between us, and believing as we do that we must protect our limited resources from one another.
Believing that we are one is, indeed, a most radical notion. I hope my friend will come to understand that his girlfriend-and her objectionable behavior-are in some way a part of him, just as he is a part of her. How he chooses to act and react helps to define who she will be to him in the future. This is the Buddhist concept of seeing the potential in all things. It isn't so hard, once you get the hang of it, but boy can it be a bitch to get started...particularly when you've just been dealt a mighty blow! But this is the best time, when your heart is cracked wide open.
So unconditional love isn't about rolling over and giving yourself up. And it isn't about pretending that everything's ok. It's about understanding that we're all a part of each other. In the push and pull of life, we're connected at our roots. Knowing this allows us to remain connected even when we're in pain, and the source of the pain appears to be the one we love, and the one who loves us. It's not just what we're supposed to do; it's what we're meant do, in order to be happy, and to be whole.
About the author:
Abby Straus is a teacher, author and consultant dedicated to helping people enhance the quality and function of their lives. She has an extensive background in consciousness studies and meditation and is a Feng Shui and energy work practitioner. She lives in Pleasantville, NY.
University expected to settle lawsuit over death - Waterloo Cedar-Falls Courier DES MOINES, Iowa - A settlement was expected Thursday in a federal lawsuit over the stabbing death of an 18-year-old student at the hands of another student at a meditation-based school in southeastern Iowa. Levi Butler was stabbed to death in the ...
Meditation retreat planned for Panhandle - Charleston Daily Mail ROMNEY, W.Va. (AP) -- The former owner of West Virginia's Coolfont Resort has a new project: Randal Ashelman will oversee construction of an adults-only retreat for transcendental meditation. Construction of the nearly 200-room retreat near Romney is ...
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Meditation retreat planned for eastern WVa - Daily Press ROMNEY, W.Va. - The former owner of West Virginia 's Coolfont Resort has a new project: Randal Ashelman will oversee construction of an adults-only retreat for transcendental meditation. Construction of the nearly 200-room retreat near Romney is ...
Death and the toddler - Business Standard Still, I’m not one to refuse to think about death on the grounds that it’s too morbid; in fact, I’ve been accused of a degree of over-enthusiasm about the subject, even though all my ruminations end with me sidling off into some shallower ...
Watch Tower: Meditation pathways of the inner self - Central Chronicle The one who has learnt to live around the self has the potential to become a follower of anekanta. But the one living around others, does not stand a chance of understanding anekanta- Acharya Mahaprajna The knowledge of meditation and experience is ...
AWC classes stress ways to de-stress - Yuma Daily Sun There's no excuse for being stressed out at Arizona Western College, not when there's classes like meditation and tai chi. Classes teaching complementary or alternative health care aren't just available at AWC. Professors say they are rapidly growing ...
Using alternative medicine to treat common ailments - Stamford Advocate It is the rare workplace, classroom or home that has not yet experienced at least a touch of the sniffles, upset stomachs and congestion that tend to arrive at this time of the year. For many, the discomfort results in a search for a remedy, which ...
